Yada Yada Blah Blah

Here I am, at work, not working. Oops. I've honestly been working all morning, and I'm much more diligent at this job (so far) than I was at my other one. Of course, I wouldn't tell anyone in my old department that. Toward the end I got so bored I was falling asleep. The lack of sleep I was getting didn't help, I'm sure. And of course I still get a lack of sleep plenty of nights but I've only caught my eyes closing once or twice since I've been over here and it has been a couple months. I think this one will stress me out at times and knowing a deadline is definitely a deadline will cause my brain to say "hey, you can't be tired." It's good for me I think. In the other department things needed to get done but OT was against the rules and therefore only so much could get done. Probably why it was easier to fall asleep when I was tired. Speaking of being tired...

The boyfriend kind of pissed me off on Monday. Yesterday certainly didn't help. We went to his sister's house to cat-sit for the weekend. I had a long weekend, he didn't, so I was there Sunday and Monday by myself. His sis and bro-in-law have three cats and two kittens, which I knew. I was actually excited to go there, because even though it is in the area I liked the thought of getting away and being in a house. I was in the house from Friday night until we left late Monday...well, early Tuesday morning. I didn't bring my car because the place is really hard to find and I wouldn't have wanted to leave anyway. He got home from work and we needed to clean up so I could get home and salvage a little sleep before coming to work yesterday. I was napping when he got there...only half-asleep really, and he fell asleep in the chair. Now, I understand he had been working all day so he was tired, but the minute he fell asleep I couldn't sleep anymore because I didn't want both of us to sleep all night and then I'd be screwed in the morning when I had to go to work. So I got up and started cleaning and getting ready to leave and he got up a bit later. The moment he pissed me off: There was a paper bowl with ice cream residue in it, and he asked "are you the one you has been eating ice cream out of paper bowls?" I said yes, and he said "quit that, it's wasteful. They could be used for a picnic or something." I looked at him and said "I'm 27 years old, I think I can decide what I want to eat ice cream out of." He looked at me and said "are they your bowls?" A couple random comments were said back and forth and I walked upstairs, and I was mad. I felt like he was treating me like a little kid. For the rest of the night he would be sweet and hug me and tell me thank you for helping, then say something that would hit me the wrong way. I think the combination of the bowl comment, being hungry, and being cooped up all weekend put me in a mood I get in sometimes, where I take everything offensively. On the way home we stopped to get food, and I told him what had ticked me off and he apologized and said that it was something that his parents had always lectured him about and it just came out for some reason. He said he becomes very business-like and straight-forward at work and often a coworker who is older than him calls him "dad" and he must have still been in that mode. I said it was okay and let it drop...but I have a hard time letting go of things that bug me, so it was still in my head somewhat.

Yesterday I heard nothing from him for a long time. And if I hadn't texted him I never would have heard anything. I sent two messages during the day, one saying have a good day and one telling him I hoped he had time to get enough sleep and some down time, since he said he needed both. Didn't hear anything. I fell asleep around 6pm, woke up at 12:30am. No text messages. His hours make it so he's always up at 12:30am so I sent one, saying I hoped everything is okay since I hadn't heard anything. I got something about 20 minutes later, saying he was fine, just completely wiped out. So, let me understand this. You're so tired that you can't send a text message? Do you know how many days a week I operate on hardly any sleep? And I certainly can type a text message. I didn't say any of that though. I don't really remember what I said. Nothing mean. Probably just feel better or something. *sigh* He really is a nice guy. I am just unbelievably frustrated right now. My mom says my stepdad is a brat about being tired, and he's a nice guy too.

So tonight my best friend from college, Mike, is coming into town from Florida. He's going to be in one of his fraternity brother's weddings. He is going to stay with me for three nights, originally wanted to stay with me tonight too but I can't take Thurs and Fri off of work and the lady I live with wouldn't want me to leave Mike at my place alone so I'll be meeting him after work tomorrow and taking Friday off. I was in love with Mike for a long time, but he's gay. lol, yeah, you read that right. I finally got over it after years, and it has been a few years since I got over it. We used to be inseparable but we went through some difficult times when I could hardly stand him anymore...kind of sick of each other I guess. We hung out like we were a couple and fought like we were married. An interesting friendship, I guess. :) Anyway, since he's staying with me he's going to be staying in my room. If I didn't have a boyfriend he'd automatically be sleeping in my bed, no second thoughts. But I have a boyfriend...and the boyfriend and I basically decided it wouldn't be appropriate and one of us would sleep on the floor. Well, I've been thinking about it and it seems kind of silly when I have a queen size bed and Mike is GAY. But at the same time I can see my boyfriend's point of view so I was going to discuss it with him tonight when we get together. But who knows if we'll get together now, since he's so TIRED? I don't want to tell Mike it's okay to sleep in my bed without discussing it with the boyfriend, but I certainly don't want to do it via text. And I am refusing to text him today unless he texts me anyway. It's the last night we'll be able to see each other for a few days since Mike's in town and he has a friend coming over because it's the only night the friend could get together. He said he still wanted to see me, but unless he gets a hold of me and asks I'm not going over.

This is certainly my longest blog and enough blabbing for now.