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Thursday, January 14, 2010
Apparently I'm a spice girl
We had cake at work today for my boss's birthday. Apparently spice cake is one of his favorite kinds so that is the flavor our department had. It's not one of my favorites but face it, it was cake and I had more than my share. Big surprise. Not to say it wasn't good, but it wasn't carrot cake or chocolate cake, which are my favorites. I see the inspirational blogs that my friend GypsyJody has been posting lately and it makes me want to do better. There have been times in my life where I have done better. But it has rarely been eating well and exercising at the same time. Generally it's a half-assed effort to exercise combined with eating fairly decently. Once I make an effort to eat well and eat less I tend to lose immediately. That's what happens when you're over 100 lbs. overweight rather than 10-20 pounds overweight like some people. My grandma, 67 years old, is probably only a size 10, MAYBE a size 12. That's amazing to me, I'd love to be her. But she can't help but wish she was a size 6 or 8 like she used to be. I always hear people say "oh, if I could only get down to the size I used to be." Ha, I wouldn't mind being what I was a couple years ago. But not what I was in college. I reached my highest weight in college. About 25 pounds higher than I am right now. I'm now at the highest weight I was in high school, which does not please me. Food is certainly a comfort thing to me, as well as the perfect distraction when I'm bored. And sweets are totally my biggest weakness. And not the kinds that are "fat-free" like licorice. Oh hell no. Cookies, cakes, ice cream, cheesecake, all the worst ones for you. And it's not that I don't love greasy cheeseburgers and rich pasta. But if there is hamburger sitting in the refrigerator I can resist making one and eating it. But if there are homemade chocolate chip cookies in the place, I am going to be devouring them all day. Sometimes I'll go part of a day lately thinking "I'm going to eat well" and the next thing I know I'm eating something bad without even realizing it. That's how much trouble I'm having with getting in the mindset of trying to do well again. My attitude toward getting healthier is so warped right now I can't even remember it from one moment to the next. Do I need to write it on the back of my hand or what? Well, it's about time to leave work. And I really want to stop at Jack in the Box and get a cheeseburger with fries and the fat girl's ketchup. *sigh*
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4 comments:
Melissa, why not just don't get any more cookies and cake stuff in the house, put low calorie food in the refrigerator and fill up on that instead. You can get serious, if you want to; the first week or two is hard, then it gets easy, as you see results. Come on, you can do it, so do it.
Secretia
I luvvvvvvvv baking sweets but since I want to keep those cals. down, I don't do it that often. That being said, I just baked a moist yogurt cake and it's delicious.
Do not restrict yourself or starve yourself to lose weight! Balance and moderation (portion control) is the answer to all things in life.
Personally, I try to make a conscious effort to eat healthy foods most of the time, but I don't set any rules or timelines for myself that dictates how often I can eat a donut (yummy!!!) or how much I can have. Instead, I try to avoid foods that don't enhance my health most of the time. If a craving arises and I really want something, I'll eat it without guilt or concern. You just have to figure out what works for you.
I've had to stop putting all the focus on the weightloss and start putting it on small, acheivable, daily goals. All of which combined will give me the end result I desire. First this, then that - keep adding to it! 26 days into it now and I'm excerising every day, taking my vitamins, fueling my body instead of feeding it - sneaking veggies into everything I cook. If I can't I throw it on a salad.
My weightloss has not been as excellerated as it has in the past but it is happening. The more you start to care for yourself everyday the better you'll feel and the more you'll want to care for yourself.
If I stop to think about the 80 to 90 more pounds I have to go, the "follow through girl" is gone and the "I have an idea! Let's eat a gallon of ice cream! girl" is back.
That's why I blog. To put in writting my challanges and my triumphs in all their true colors. I revist them often to remind myself of how far I've come and take closer look at what I need to change in order to live the life I want to be living. Baby steps my friend and change will follow!
Melissa, hewwwoooooo?????? Are you still alive out there???
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