WHY?

Why can't I ever concentrate on my job? I can't even blame it on sleep all the time. I got plenty of sleep last night. Ten hours or so. BLARGH. I need to be employed, I certainly can't survive on my looks. I have debt, that's for sure. And even if I'd like a few weeks off, I'd go insane after a while, I know this about myself. And the place I work is certainly not a bad place. So WTF is wrong with me? I barely got anything accomplished yesterday and today has not been any better. I'm looking for excuses to leave, yet I know I don't have the time and I need to stay. Is it because I know this was not my calling in life? I don't know WTF my calling in life is. I don't really think I have a calling in life. To eat a lot and lay around and sit on my fat butt. Well, I often lay rather than sit. Do you know how dirty my room is? Well, not necessarily dirty but messy. I can blame a lot of it on not being home and being tired when I am home, but my goodness it's pathetic. Piles of clothes, various boxes, mail. It's sad, I should not be that messy. I'm not a teenager. I think I'm wishing I was or something. Or maybe I should have been a teacher...long breaks would be nice.