Getting shrunk (shrank?)

Another Monday is almost here so I am starting on my endless cycle of going to bed too late and not getting enough sleep. At least this is a short week, since I am taking Friday off to go to Leavenworth with the boyfriend to spend a couple of days. I am quite happy we are going-getting away is nice and I have never been there. We're staying at a bed and breakfast and the room looks beautiful. If only we both get out of bed to enjoy our stay-even noon would be nice. The night person I am by nature has definitely been in full force for quite some time now, and it's starting to get to me. I do crave daylight and sunny days...not that we've been getting a lot of sunny days around here lately. But I'm pretty sure the weather was fairly nice this weekend and I didn't get to enjoy any of it, because I was sleeping. The boyfriend brings out that person in me even more, because he's a creature of the night (lol) and always works night shifts. He will always want to work those shifts; he feels he is pretty much incapable of getting up and having a morning job. So the only way I will get out of this cycle is to pull myself out of it. I've been this way for quite some time though. We'll see...

As for the subject of my post...I've decided to see a counselor. I've probably needed to do so for years and it has just been easier to put off. My lack of happiness lately for reasons I can't pin down, combined with issues in my life I know I need to resolve, led me to decide to see one. The first appointment is a free consultation to see if we "mesh". Well, that appointment was supposed to be on Wednesday but somehow her schedule and my schedule got mixed up and she had me down for this Wednesday. So, my first appointment went well, ha. We'll try again this week-she called and left me a personal apology so that was nice. I've never been to a counselor before so I'm not sure how it will be. I just know I want a female one-probably due to my issues being comfortable around men. I hope the door I'm about to open is not too painful or scary. I mean, what if I get pushed further toward a nervous breakdown because I start talking about things I've pushed aside? Ugh. Oh well, I'm going to go. Feeling unhappy for no apparent reason even when I'm taking an antidepressant is pissing me off. Ugh, again. I analyze myself too much. It's just who I am...can someone make me happy-go-lucky please?