Shoes!

I ordered some and I think they are cute, since I'm not the type who wears heels. Hopefully they will fit-here's a pic!

I should be sleeping

I don't even have the excuse of being at the boyfriend's place right now. I'm simply awake too late, which is the case 99% of the time. I should at least be reading. Although blogging is more productive than playing my game. And something that should be done since it has been over a week. But I told myself I'd do a little reading tonight. You see, I've had the last Harry Potter book since the day it came out, however long ago that was. Quite some time ago. But I haven't read it. I've diligently read all the others, but not the last one. When I was back in Idaho for Christmas my sister received the movie for the next to the last one as a Christmas gift. We watched the movie one evening while I was there. I hadn't seen it yet. I have read that book, only once and I don't remember it very well. I felt as though a lot of stuff was left out, even though I don't remember a lot from the book. I did like the movie though. Anyway, it made me want to come back and read the last book. And then read the one before it again. Will I actually do so? Hopefully. I'm such a slacker when it comes to reading anymore. I really need to stop being that way. Even if I can't bring myself to read some of the educational sociology stuff that I really do find interesting, some engaging fiction is better than nothing. So we'll see, hopefully I will start it tomorrow. Because I really should sleep after writing this...

Christmas was pretty good. It's always nice to be back in Idaho, although I have one major complaint that I do feel bad about. It's smoke. My mom's a smoker (and yes, I did smoke for a year) and I could hardly stand it while I was there. It wasn't because she smelled like smoke or anything like that. It's because she smokes in the house. And it's not a large house. So I felt like there was constantly smoke in the air while I was there. I grew up with it my whole life and didn't notice it, which is funny. Now it's totally obvious to me. When I went back in the summer I noticed it but not as much. I guess in the summer the windows are open and that sort of thing, though. I don't really feel as though I can throw a fit and tell her to go outside or something. It's her home and she does a lot for me. But man it started getting to me. The day I left my sinuses started bugging me and I was attributing it to that. But then by the time I got back to W. Washington and was picked up by the boyfriend it was turning into a cold. So now I'm sick. Merry Christmas and happy New Year, heh. Second time I've been sick this year, and I rarely get sick once a winter. What's going on?

I need to feel better soon so I can do a little shopping. I'm getting fatter, which needs to stop, but I'll go into that on another blog. But I received some money for Christmas and I really need to go get some new jeans, undies, and shoes. My only pair of comfy semi-dress shoes have the sole falling off! Any suggestions for a place with comfy plus size undies and comfy shoes that are wide-width? NOT heels. Ok, it's really time to go...

What Can I Say?

Right now I don't have anything I want to blog about. I'm just at work and I'm REALLY BORED. I'm done with everything that needs to be done. As a result, I've decided to take all of tomorrow off instead of part of it. I WANT TO LEAVE. But there is one responsibility I have that involves emails that come through at random times so I'm not leaving yet. And besides, I really should stay as long as possible to get hours and use less of my dwindling vacation time. I mean, I could go into something serious I guess...things I've thought about going into just to get them out. I did post a serious blog or two on here about stuff that happened when I was younger. And I guess Christmas reminds me of those times, which is unfortunate, because shouldn't someone just enjoy Christmas? And it's not that I dislike the holiday. But I feel as though I never got to enjoy it the way a child should...
And of course it relates back to my father. The morning of Christmas Eve was always filled with nervous anticipation because of him. Christmas Eve was a tradition of going to my grandma and grandpa's (Mom's mom and stepdad) for dinner and present-opening. My father always 'hated" going and used the excuse "they didn't like him" and blah blah blah. In front of his little kid, me, mind you. And so he would put off getting ready, take way too long in the bathroom, etc, and we would always be at least two hours late. Two hours late! And that was after a huge struggle to even get there. And then the grandparents and the rest of my mom's family were always completely nice to him. I do always remember getting tons of presents from my grandparents, which was awesome. :) *sigh* But it was awful getting there, and I was always afraid this one relative would piss him off once we got there. Most of the relatives catered to my dad's asshole personality, but not all. Then of course after we left in the evenings, we never went home immediately. My father was a regular pot smoker and probably still is, and my mother actually was too until I was around five. He'd end up taking us to some friends place and I'd be up with them all night and not get to sleep until some awful hour. So then I wouldn't wake up until noon or something to have "Christmas morning". Isn't a kid supposed to pop out of bed at 6am and not be able to stand it anymore? And I don't think he was there for me opening my presents; that part I'm not sure of though...
And then Christmas Day...my other grandparents' house is where we'd go (his parents). The place would generally be crowded...he has four sisters and a brother...I have a lot of cousins on that side. That day would be filled with nervous anticipation as well because someone would ALWAYS get in a fight. Be it a pair of his sisters, or my father and my grandpa, it was always someone. So that always made Christmas merry, believe me. And it was a small house in a cold area so there certainly wasn't anywhere to escape to. At this point I don't remember at all what anyone fought about...stupid petty things I'm sure. I just remember feeling upset and nervous. I honestly don't think I cried though, although knowing the person I am today I'm surprised I didn't. I generally cry when upset...maybe that has developed with age. I think crying would've made it worse and I knew that, but I really don't remember. It's strange I don't remember many of the details but just how I felt in general...did I forget them on purpose or were they trivial? I do have a bad memory...or maybe I was just too young...

One of my favorite blogs to read...

...has now become private and I miss reading it already! I know I have never met this person but I love reading her blogs and find her to be very funny and entertaining. If you happen to read my mediocre blog, I want to let you know I miss yours! :) I'm pretty sure you'll know who you are...

Almost Christmas...

I get to go back to my stompin' grounds for Christmas...aka northern Idaho. The land of mountains, trees, and very little traffic. Don't get me wrong, western Washington certainly has some mountains and trees but it is not lacking in traffic. But anyway, I fly out on Wednesday afternoon and I don't come back until Sunday afternoon. I'm looking forward to some time back with the family. I haven't seen any of them since July. I've lived here for over a year and a half and they still have never came to visit me! My friend Rachel's parents come to visit a lot. They're in a different situation I guess...it's just her mom and dad left at home and only her dad works, whereas my mom and stepdad both work and I have a fifteen year old sister still at home. But I believe the lack of desire for being in a city plays a big role. My mom cringes at the thought of driving around in the Seattle area and has no desire to spend time in cities, except perhaps Vegas. :) They'd all have to fly, which would be spendy...and ride with me, which would be stressful. I'm excited to go back, I hope it goes a little better than last year. I had a lot of people annoyed at me because I had started smoking last year and so I was smoking while I was home. A little drama ensued, nothing too major but it put a damper on my mood on Christmas Eve. I quit last January so hopefully nothing will do that this time around. Well, of course there are always things that can put a damper on your mood...I have a feeling it is going to be the last Christmas I will see one of my grandparents. She is actually my step-grandmother, but she's been married to my grandpa (mom's father) since before I was born. Anyway, she's had bad luck with health for a long time, but I guess this time it started with lung cancer and has progressed into other things. I'm not even sure what all at this point. My mom told me but I honestly can't remember, horrible as that sounds. I just know it wasn't good. But we'll see. I hope for the most part it will be a good trip home. There is always a lot of running around involved for my family on Christmas Eve and Christmas. No staying home either day, which makes time fly even more. Time flies regardless, unless I'm waiting for a microwave. Or a lot of the time at work...

My Addiction-Part 2

So I think I need to start taking some nights off from the game. Right now I'm doing my best to convince myself to not play at all this evening, or just do a little bit. I'm not saying I play the whole night every night, but it's often a good chunk of it. I'm sitting here at work telling myself to read a book, watch a movie, clean my room, GET SOME SLEEP, for crying out loud. I'm not going to the boyfriend's so this would be a great night to get some sleep! But I get to be done with work early (yippee holiday luncheon) so after I go yell (ok, I'm not much of a yeller) at Verizon about my one month old phone being awful (a whole other story) and pick up my mail I will have the rest of the day free. How can I spend all day in front of a computer and then do the same at home? I will definitely need glasses in the in the next couple years. I really should read or something. But with the lack of sleep I got I will probably just go to sleep. And if I go to sleep in the afternoon then I will be up all night and...the night owl schedule for the girl who works during the day. Sometimes I think I miss things at work because I'm tired. I should try a week of getting enough sleep, see how I feel. Ha, that'll happen! My blogs are so random...off to get luncheon food!

Sentimental Songs

Songs about the past and looking back on memories tend to bring tears to my eyes the first few times I hear them. If you can believe it, the song "I Go Back" by Kenny Chesney made me cry the first few times I heard it. And it's not meant to be sad. Why is it songs that look back on the past make me tear up, or even completely cry sometimes? I really can't tell you. I had some good times back in high school and college, but I don't want to go back and re-live them by any means. Who wants to go through the cattiness of dealing with female teenage friends again? But I don't know, I think part of me is always going to wish things had been different in my childhood and somethings had been different in my teenage years as well. So maybe that's why. But I'm not sure. I truly don't understand exactly what it is and I don't know that I'm the person that will figure it out. LOL, maybe I'm just a wimp! Anyway, here's a song I heard for the first time yesterday, brought tears to my eyes and down my face, the whole routine. Oh, the lyrics anyway. The song, if you feel like listening, is on Daughtry's website...

September by Daughtry

How the time passed away
All the trouble that we gave
And all those day we spent out by the lake
Has it all gone to waste?
All the promises we made
One by one they vanished just the same

All the things I still remember
Summers never looked the same
Years go by and time just seems to fly
But the memories remain
In the middle of September
We still played out in the rain
Nothing to lose but everything to gain
Reflecting now on how things could've been
It was worth it in the end

Now it all seems so clear
There's nothing left to fear
So we made our way by finding what was real
Now the days are so long
That summer's moving on
Reach for something that's already gone

All the things I still remember
Summers never look the same
Years go by and time just seems to fly
But the memories remain
In the middle of September
We still played out in the rain
Nothing to lose but everything to gain
Reflecting now on how things could've been
It was worth it in the end

Yeah, We knew we had to leave this town
But we never knew when and we never knew how
We would up here the way we are
We knew we had to leave this town
But we never knew when and we never knew how

All the things I still remember
Summers never look the same
Years go by and time just seems to fly
But the memories remain
In the middle of September
We still played out in the rain
Nothing to lose but everything to gain
Reflecting now on how things could've been
It was worth it in the end

Quit Your Bitching

As you can tell by reading this, I bitch a lot. About myself, others, and life in general. But I try to do it quietly and/or in a place it won't affect others. Well, there are some women I work near who are constantly bitching. And they are much too loud for my taste. But anytime anyone is too loud for them the one will go "shh!" All the coworkers who sit right next to me wear headphones, if that's any indication of how loud it can get. Well today I got to work late, which happens more often than it should lately, but anyway...I have a city due tomorrow, and when contracts expire for the city and the city didn't cancel them you have to extend them before the previous day's cities bill or the contracts are gone and you have to duplicate them all. Therefore when there are only one or two we usually wait to turn them in till early afternoon even if they are done to make sure everyone has the stuff for the next day done. I got here at 10am, and it was the first thing I was going to do today when I got here. Granted, I planned on getting here by eight, but still. The minute I started to put contract numbers in it wouldn't let me extend them. Those in charge had already turned the only one due today over to be processed. They are supposed to go around and ask before they do so, to make sure everyone has the stuff done for the next day. And unless it gets late and someone is really slacking, they're supposed to wait a bit if someone needs the time. Well, the main boss found out what happened and emailed to tell them to make sure to check from now on. Well, quiet duo that they are (sarcasm), I heard them start bitching immediately about how people should have their stuff done and if not to let them know and blah blah blah. I think I even heard my name, which is really dumb considering how close I sit. How can they (mainly one of them) not realize how loud they are? The other one said well if I have such and such city done I can't believe others don't have theirs done and blah blah blah. Well, I guess I see her point there because all I hear is SOCIALIZING from over there all the time so it is pretty amazing. Ok, back to work. Grrr.

My Addiction

Some people think only men are addicted to it. I used to think that. Well, I knew in my mind it couldn't ONLY be men, because that's just not possible. Plus I then found out my best friend was once addicted to it. She still dabbles, but doesn't have the time like she used to. I know someone at work who is addicted. She has been for a few years though. Like my boyfriend. I didn't get addicted until I met him. I just watched him at first, thinking "why am I getting involved with someone addicted to this?" Then after a couple weeks he wanted me to try. And try I did. I knew nothing at first. There is still a LOT I don't know. Ok, so what is this addiction? It is called World of Warcraft.

Some of you are probably going "huh?" and others may be groaning. Maybe there's someone out there reading this who actually likes it. I don't think that many people read my blog though. :) I would have been with the groaners up until meeting the boyfriend. In fact, when I found out he was into the game after meeting him, I wanted to groan. The guy I dated off and on for years was into the game during our last "on" phase, and he used to leave me on the weekend to go play it with his friends. Boy, I grew to hate that game. In fact, he left a comment on facebook when I said something about enjoying playing the game, about how I used to hate it. I said hey, bucko, you never invited me to try it. Well, not in so many words, but you get the point. I'm not going to go into what the game is and why I like it for those of you who know nothing about it. It will take too long and you'll hate me because I'm not that good at getting my point across. If you want to know anymore about it, go to www.worldofwarcraft.com. And no, I'm not trying to promote playing it. I have to say I probably would've gotten frustrated and quit if the boyfriend hadn't been helping me at the beginning. He's one big teddy bear :) of knowledge and I still ask him questions. I'd probably blog a lot more if it wasn't for my addiction. Ahh...World of Warcraft and diet Coke...I'll be content.