I'm still out here...

Alive and kicking. No time to blog right now, I've got work that's due today and who knows if I will get it done on time. I'm doing my best, but it's the price you pay for a long weekend. Anyway, did anyone else think that long weekend went way too fast? I haven't had a chance to blog lately because of a horrible addiction I have. It's not illegal, I promise. More later!

Reasonable vs. Unreasonable??

So I got upset at the boyfriend last night. He does this thing every once in a while and it really bothers me. Ok, here's what happened. I stayed home from work yesterday, and ended up sleeping till 4:30 in the afternoon. My intention was to go in late rather than not go in at all but I just couldn't get out of bed. I had actually gone to sleep really early the evening before so all in all I got about 21 hours of sleep. But I have a lot of paperwork to do for my city that is due Friday so I sent a text to the boyfriend and asked him if I could go over and use his table to write up some stuff, since I don't have one at my place. He works evenings, 2:30pm-10:30pm if I hadn't gotten that across before. He said sure so I got my stuff together and went over. I figured I would be spending the night so I got some PJ's and some clothes to wear to work today. Well, a couple hours later I got a text saying he wanted to kick me out before he got home because he had work to do and I'd be too much of a distraction. God it pisses me off when he does that. It has happened once or twice before. I made a remark back, then I just told him I'd be out by ten. Often I have things I'd like to tell him about, discuss our days, etc, and he'll do something like that. I guess it hurts my feelings slightly as well, because I can't believe I'm that demanding when I'm around him. I've listened and seen the way some other women talk to their significant others and I KNOW I'm not that demanding. Another large part of what bothers me is that we have talked seriously about living together when his lease is up in March, and he's not going to be able to have "nights off" from me when that happens.

So anyway after working for about an hour I went home, and slacked at home like I always do. We ended up talking on a messenger through the video game we both play (yes, we're nerds) and discussing some stuff. He told me he did want to see me but I am pretty demanding when we're together, and although he loves it he needed to get things done. I told him I'm really not that demanding, he needs to think about the times when I fade into the background when his friends are around and do my own thing and pretty much let him be. I told him if he'd just let me be there on those nights he had other things to do I could be the same way. I also told him that maybe it was HIM who had the problem when I was around, wanting to be with me instead of work, not because I demanded it. I hate that word. DEMANDING. Toward the beginning of the conversation he said something about if we live together we should get a two bedroom place so the second room could be his "den." I basically said I didn't like that idea. The second room can be for both of our computers/work stuff, and we can feel free to shut one another out if the other needs to get something done. He said he knew that was a better idea and he was selfish about this stuff a lot, the 'alone' time and stuff. He actually said something about a fear of commitment last night, which I didn't realize he had and it scared me a little. But I think it was moreso a fear of moving in together and no longer having the personal space. If he's not ready, he's not ready. We have a few months. Sorry, this is a bunch of rambling about my relationship. But is it unreasonable for me to get upset about this stuff? I know he cares and he's a good guy but I think it's like my mom says...all men are selfish on some level.

Wordless Wednesday...took forever to find a good pic

The Dentist

All I have to say is "ouch" and I'll leave you all with that.

Okay, not really, but wow. I went to the dentist yesterday for the first time in a couple years. Yes, I know I'm horrible. But after moving from Idaho to Washington I hadn't bothered to find another one. I really liked the one I had back in Idaho and I think that made me not want to look for a new one. Well, a lady at work recommended this one so I went finally today, after getting the recommendation in July...yes, I'm a slacker.

Anyway, I went in and they were really nice...somewhat fake nice, somewhat real nice. There was some of both I think. Of course of there is some of both in the coworker that recommended the place. So anyway, there was a bunch of stuff that happened but the part I want to tell you all about is the pain. Yes, pain. The hygienist did what is called "periodontal charting" I believe, and it hurt like hell. Now, I don't know if it hurt like hell because my gums are unbelievably bad or because she presses harder than the average person, but I was literally starting to twitch in my chair. It seems like I have gotten this done before and it wasn't as bad, but maybe not. I don't know. Anyway, in the end apparently not only did I get to be poked and prodded painfully, but it was concluded I have periodontal disease and need a deep cleaning and a few other things. The fact that I'm type 2 diabetic made it easier for me to get this bone loss and have gum problems, but I really should have been taking care of my teeth. Maybe this exam wouldn't have made me want to punch people?

When I was a kid, I was scared to death of the dentist. I'm not sure why, but I was. A lot of kids are I guess. One time I think I was given a mild tranquilizer before going. When I got into my teenage years, I started going to my old dentist and their philosophy was "no pain" and I really liked that place. I got over my phobia of the dentist. But maybe my little kid self saw the exam I had yesterday in my future or something! Anyway, my mom has had a "deep cleaning" at the other dentist before and she said they numbed it beforehand. I wonder if this place will? Or should I keep a flask of whiskey in my purse? No, wait, vodka. Much harder to smell. Eek!

Wordless Wednesday? (I'm trying it)

My Birthday

Tomorrow is the big 28. It has been 10 years since the big 18, and only two years from the big 30. Crazy stuff. I don't really like having a birthday. If I remember correctly, I was only told happy birthday by a couple people last year, even though a lot more who were directly in my life should have known it was my birthday and at least called or sent a text. Strangely enough, I rarely talk to these people anymore. I wonder if I'll hear anything tomorrow? :)

Enough birthday bitterness--well, one last thing. It's on a TUESDAY this year. What a lame day. But I guess anything other than Friday, Saturday, and maybe Sunday is pretty blah. Ok, back to good birthday things. The boyfriend, his sister and brother in law took me to dinner on Friday at the Cheesecake Factory for the big 28. The boyfriend asked me on Thursday if I wanted my present on Friday night or if I wanted to wait until my actual birthday on Tuesday to get it. I told him it didn't matter, it was up to him. I wasn't incredibly curious yet. He said his sister really wanted to see the look on my face when I got it. Then he started giving me all these hints, which made me extremely curious and so I told him he had to give it to me Friday night. Can you guess what it was from these hints?
1) It's smaller than a breadbox
2)It's mostly one color, but the other color will stand out more
3)The size can be changed
4)It "marks" me in a way (this is when I asked him if he got me markers or something)

Eh, there may have been other clues, but I can't remember. It ended up being a garnet necklace made of white gold. Totally sweet of him. I could tell how eager he was for me to get it and how much he wanted me to like it. :) I definitely like it. Although a couple others had me wondering if it could be some kind of engagement ring or something. *gulp* I really knew he was too practical to do that but a couple things he said made me wonder. We'd definitely need more time and discussion before he'd do something like that. His sister and bro-in-law got me a movie and a bunch of homemade cookies. I only shared a couple with the boyfriend. Yes, I'm stingy about my sweets and the gut shows it. So I won't be getting much of anything on the actual day, which is fine. I already got the present from my mom as well- a new cell phone! :)

This Saturday we will be celebrating two more birthdays, two of his friends are born in November as well. One is born on my birthday. It almost bugs me. :) I'd like to have my birthday all to myself where my boyfriend is concerned, not have one of his best friends born on that day as well. But this friend is a nice guy so I'm ok with it. Listen to me, I sound like a spoiled brat. But since when was November such a popular month for babies to be born? People need to stop having so much fun around Valentine's Day!

Burning Nose

I've heard if your nose itches, company is coming. Or that you're going to kiss a fool. There's another one too, but I've forgotten it. I think it means you're going to sneeze (duh). Aren't I creative? Anyway, what causes your nose to CONSTANTLY BURN? Because that is what mine has been doing since I got up this morning. Well, since I sneezed five minutes after I awoke this morning. All in all I'm feeling better but I woke up with a nose that won't quit burning on the inside. It's not intolerable...not even making my eyes water. And no, nose, that's not an invitation to make it worse. But it's constant and annoying and I want it to stop. I've been taking drinks of hot teas and waiting for them to make my nose start burning to see if after I swallow the nose will stop. It doesn't. How would an ice cube up the nose feel? *cringe* I'm not to that point yet. Although I swear my nose started burning more after I wrote that. Just as long as I'm getting better at all that's good. I don't want to be sneezing all over the place at the Cheesecake Factory when I go to dinner for my birthday tomorrow. Wish me (and my nose) luck on no more itching, watering and burning. I guess worse parts of me could be itching, watering and burning...that's food for thought.

Totally Depressing

So I was sitting here reading others' blogs and thinking of writing one of my own, and I had the TV on for background noise. "The Office" is on, which is a show I've never really watched but it just happened to come on the channel. For some reason, a horribly depressing song came on during the show, which is usually funny I guess. It's a song I have and used to listen to often, because I'm a queen of depressing music and love to torture myself with it when I'm upset, and still like to listen to it when I'm in a decent mood. However, I haven't listened to this one in quite a while. It made me jump when I heard it. That makes me think the last time I listened to it on a regular basis was probably when a guy I had in my life off and on for a long time left last September. Or else I just thought my computer started playing it on its own! Anyway, I've included the sad lyrics. *sigh* It's by James Blunt, by the way.

"Goodbye My Lover"

Did I disappoint you or let you down?
Should I be feeling guilty or let the judges frown?
'Cause I saw the end before we'd begun,
Yes I saw you were blinded and I knew I had won.
So I took what's mine by eternal right.
Took your soul out into the night.
It may be over but it won't stop there,
I am here for you if you'd only care.
You touched my heart you touched my soul.
You changed my life and all my goals.
And love is blind and that I knew when,
My heart was blinded by you.
I've kissed your lips and held your hand.
Shared your dreams and shared your bed.
I know you well, I know your smell.
I've been addicted to you.

[x2]
Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.

I am a dreamer and when i wake,
You can't break my spirit - it's my dreams you take.
And as you move on, remember me,
Remember us and all we used to be
I've seen you cry, I've seen you smile.
I've watched you sleeping for a while.
I'd be the father of your child.
I'd spend a lifetime with you.
I know your fears and you know mine.
We've had our doubts but now we're fine,
And I love you, I swear that's true.
I cannot live without you.

[x2]
Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.

And I still hold your hand in mine.
In mine when I'm asleep.
And I will bare my soul in time,
When I'm kneeling at your feet.
Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.

I'm so hollow, baby, I'm so hollow.
I'm so, I'm so, I'm so hollow.
I'm so hollow, baby, I'm so hollow.
I'm so, I'm so, I'm so hollow.

It's November

The time changed so it will be dark even earlier. Yippee. (insert sarcasm) My birthday is next week, I will be 28 ,yay! (insert more sarcasm) I am sick right now, hopefully I will be somewhat over it by Friday because I guess the boyfriend, his sis and bro-in-law are taking me to dinner for my birthday. That's pretty cool. (not really sarcasm) I got sick because of all the people at work sick-don't come to work sick darn it. Oh, wait, I'm at work sick. I guess I'll just go home. Oh crap, I just got an email from a city and I'm probably going to get in more trouble. My Mondays are not going well lately. Fits gonna hit the shan.